Current State: Thoughts Of A Sleep Deprived Flight Attendant
Blankly I stare at the ceiling— motionless— the only movement comes from my eyelids as they blink away the seconds slowly. These seconds are precious. Time in this digital era is a sought after and fleeting commodity. Time and sleep. I am wasting one and chasing the other, but ultimately failing at finding enough of both in my life
I waste time, tons of it. Between mindless social media browsing to the ten minutes here and seventeen minutes there when I can’t find one shoe or I change my outfit twice. I have time— snippets of it, but it’s always cornered with what just happened and what’s coming next. A corner and schedule that consists of airport after airport and airplane after airplane.
This week more than once I said, “I don’t know how I will find the energy to get on that plane. I don’t know how I will find the energy to go.” What I find even more frustrating is that I want to write. I want to blog. I want to create. I want connect, but I have no brain power left.
According to a TED Talk, creativity thrives when sleeping at night (emphasis on at night) is involved. I force myself to stay awake, cut my hours of rest short, and find myself bright eyed with insomnia at 3am more often than I care to admit. I want so much for this website, my blogging/marketing career, and myself, but what I am getting because I am not getting enough sleep is discouraging.
I feel myself enduring, but enjoying (I’m really loving flying right now), happy yet drained, amazed in wonder, yet overwhelmed by the lifestyle.
It’s time to go again. That uniform takes so much of my time...